What makes conflict so uncomfortable?

Why does conflict make us so uncomfortable? Often it’s because I feel that others can’t see just how right I am.

It would be so much easier if they could just recognise my superior arguments, apologise and we could all move forward!

At a conference this week I was challenged by a series of seminars on how to deal with general disagreement, or conflict, as a Christian.

I won’t pretend to be an expert, but I would like to quote a general principle that was shared at the conference: “Conflict is part of your God journey”.

In a conflict situation you don’t have power over what the other parties will do. Yet, we do have power over ourselves and our own reactions.

Conflict is a moment which we can use to bring God glory, yet this seems so unlikely, doesn’t it?

In a conflict we are often so consumed by the other person and what they have done or said. But if instead of starting with the other person we start with God, then we can reframe the whole situation.

And we start with the understanding that we are in the position that God has put us in.

Instead of blaming God, we can ask how in this situation we can seek to glorify him.

I don’t think that this means the next steps are easy or obvious.

It doesn’t even mean that conflict can be solved: you are only one part of the equation. But you can change the equation: you can make the impossible a possibility.

By starting with God, not only can you grow in your relationship with him, you can ask how he wants you to bring love to others.

Simon Chaplin